Do you feel you give more love than you receive?

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It isn't hard to imagine what it feels like to give more love than that which you receive.  Not at all.  In fact, everybody knows what it feels like to have been left behind, not considered or unappreciated. There is a pang of sadness that mixes with confusion and even anger.  It's like being ripped off or robbed.  Whether it is in our work, passion, or a personal relationship, love comes through every time we put our heart into something. We are taught to understand the balance between what we reap and what we sow.  Go to work and get paid.  Plant a garden, nurture it, and there will be plants.  Put gas in a car and get from A to Z.  

But, love doesn't work that way, does it?  In fact, love is the most conditional exchange that we engage.  We know it shouldn't be that way and we do our best to be the generous and compassionate people that we can but, still, we know all too well how it feels to have our most valuable commodity taken from us.  What follows is the inevitable self-doubt that picks away at what love we have left for ourselves and, the possibility of shutting down another corner of our heart to ensure that suffering in the future can be minimized.  It's quite sad really because love is not something for trade.  Instead, it is something we are blessed with to fertilize the soil that is where the garden we call life blooms.  And so, the question rises again.  Why do we feel that we give more love than we receive?  The answer lays in three parts.

The first is the conditioning that the love given is more valuable per part than that which is received.  We often hear someone say "You deserve more. You have a lot to offer."  Appreciation is often confused with certain degrees of love.

The second is in our human inability to witness both sides of sharing the love.  It's easy enough to see when sitting in a park and watching a parent play with a child, or in the giddiness that shows up when someone is playing with their dog.  It's easy to see when two people in a restaurant become engaged but, witnessing the exchange is difficult when we are a part of it.  

The third is that we only allow ourselves to accept as much love as we feel we deserve.  We fool ourselves into thinking that what we do for each other is an act of love.  The more we do, the more a person will show love can't be further from the truth.  What we do for each other in all types of relationships is cooperation because of love.  

Love is not a reward.  It's kind and patient.  It's generosity eloquently mixed with the right amount of gratitude.   Love is being able to see ourselves in what we see in another and, it's the most powerful source of hope and faith that we have.   

Yes, we all deserve to be loved.  A great deal in fact but, the kindness and patience that we exercise while witnessing ourselves in others, leading to generosity and gratitude having the ability to exist have to come from each of us for ourselves. Our greatest amount of love comes through the understanding that we are love.  Just as a seed is meant to grow into a blossoming flower, so too is what we share of ourselves unconditionally.  We can't blossom unless we allow our most natural resource to exist, and in return, we receive the equally incredible gift of self-growth that leads to even more self-love.

So, I ask you...are you giving more love than you are receiving?

Leigh BurtonComment