What's Really Blocking You?
Can't figure out what is keeping you from what you want? Before you continue reading, ask yourself this question. What is it that you want anyway? Maybe you want to improve the relationship you're in. Perhaps it's to become fit, take a course, or you might want to learn how to love yourself a little bit more. If there is a part of you that justifies or reasons why you can't achieve it, then there is something to consider. Your parents.
No, this isn't a modern-day paper written by a lover of Freud. It's a skinny look at the reality of what is at the top of the "What holds us back" list.
What does it have to do with your parents?
The first thing you did when you were born was crying out in need. You needed touch, warmth, nourishment, safety and love. Whichever way it was given to you taught you your first valuable lesson that started the journey of conditioning. Your parents, siblings, teachers and friends were different people for everyone that they connected with, but for you, they help you quickly learn who you had to be to get the attention you wanted.
So, ask yourself this. Who did you have to be to get love and attention from your parents?
Everything you do involves a connection with another person. Even if you are thinking about meditating privately later in the day, during the thought process, you might be considering who and what else in your day needs to be satisfied to find the quiet time you will need. From the examples above, consider what one of your first thoughts would be when you ponder what achieving it would look like.
Want: Improve the relationship you're in?
Thought: What can I do to make it better?
Want: Become fit.
Thought: What person did you think of that would be proud of you?
Want: Take a course.
Thought: "Name" would be happy to see me do something for me. or... "Name" would think I wouldn't have time, or it would get in the way of other things going on.
Want: Learn how to love yourself a little bit more.
Question: Who's face other than yours came to mind?
It was an incredibly powerful moment when I was asked: "What did you have to do to get your parents attention?" The answer was that I had to be vulnerable or giving way too much of myself. WOW! That was a game-changing moment. I realized that in some way, vulnerability and giving way too much of myself played some part in how I connected to myself and others. That being my first thought may never change, it is deep in the conditioning of who I am. But, the awareness lets me consider a different approach that can make a much better outcome.
So, what's really blocking you?