Stop The Drama

It can become so difficult to witness a person caught up in levels of drama that it eats away at their ability to have any control over anything in their life.  If you don’t already know what that would look like, see if this reminds you of someone you know.  These are classic signs of someone who is caught in a drama vortex that will eventually suck the life right out of them.

1)      Everything is a disaster:  Wow, now this is drama.  Every little thing has its own level of super serious and must be talked about.  By the way, this is someone who is a bit of a control freak.  Someone who is also in need of having attention paid to them.  This someone doesn’t know of any other way to get attention then to have something dramatic to talk about.  This someone allows everything around her define her.  The more going on that she can talk about, the more noticeable she is.

2)      No apologies necessary:  Oh, there is the “I’m sorry” from time to time.  But not in the way that it counts.  “I’m sorry” has value equal to the degree that the person saying it believes it.  This person doesn’t take responsibility for their actions.  She may appear to own it, but instead of reflecting on what she can learn from the experience, she is looking around her mind to figure out what outside of herself is the real culprit.  The culprit being the reasons or factors that in her mind she is convinced is the reason why it happened.  Again, looking outside of herself.  This is also a person that you can count on having to make apologies often. 

3)      Poor boundaries:  Setting healthy boundaries can be tough at times for just about everyone.  But someone who lives in drama has very few.  This is done on purpose.  Subconsciously she doesn’t set or enforce boundaries because, well, that would eliminate the drama she is seeking.

4)      Everything is stressful:  Stress is tough, right?  For someone caught up in drama, stressing out is actually an addiction.  Virtually everything is something to “feel”, talk about, and even try to fix.  By “feeling” what is happening makes the situation personal.  Even if it doesn’t really involve her at all.  This is an addiction that is seriously overlooked and mismanaged. 

5)      Everybody’s business:  At some point, a person addicted to drama will find that their own life doesn’t stir up enough of a high.  Now it has to go to the next level and create it outside of their own space.  This person will make a point of getting involved in the life of friends and neighbours.  On levels that really don’t have anything to do with them.

I’ll bet my first morning coffee that everybody knows someone that fits the bill on being a drama queen.  It can be pretty hard to watch, I know.  But, keep in mind that this is someone who you should feel empathy for.  Because this is a person that is so very insecure.  Someone who is trapped in a space of not knowing who she really is and using everything outside of herself to give her a sense of belonging.  A sensation of importance.  This is someone who feels that without the drama, her existence would be in peril.  Someone whom without getting the help she needs to get herself out of the “I am not good enough for myself” trap, will always have grave difficulty being happy or achieving a healthy life with peace and freedom.  Because drama is like a ball and chain that will hold her down in her self-induced punishment. 

Beware though.  It is totally appropriate to feel empathy for a person trapped in drama, but it is so important to be cautious of what degree you are willing to engage.  Drama is toxic, and spreads like wildfire.  Getting too involved with someone trapped in drama will permit the toxins to spill over into your own life. 

Drama has major impact on so many aspects of life, but it starts in the mind.  If you can’t keep your distance, you will find yourself thinking and feeling things that really have nothing to do with you, and hence, creating your own degree of drama.

What to do if someone in your life is a drama queen?  The only answer is to keep your distance. Set and keep boundaries that insist a healthy and mindful life. 

What to do if you are a person stuck in drama?  Make the decision to get yourself out of it, and find someone to help you understand why you feel that you are not good enough for you.

It can be difficult to get out of a drama filled life.  But staying there will likely lead to a future filled with exactly what you don’t want.

Remember, that you really are the only person that can make true impact on your life.  Nobody will ever have more control over your life than you are will to give them.  If you don’t want drama in your life, then don’t.

Until next time…


Leigh Burton