Online Dating: Cost to Spirit

It can be damn hard to find your soul mate. SOOO many people will say the same.  So, what do we do?

At times a person can feel so lonely and trapped in the vortex of “I need a mate”, and turn to the internet.  Yep, that virtual world that we are so connected to.  I am being facetious.  Clearly, there is no REAL connection through cyberspace.  But we go down that road anyway.

I recently had the opportunity to have shared with a friend her experience with online dating sites.  She carefully selected the sites that were right for her, and over a six month span she engaged in a ritualistic practice of being part of the virtual dating community.  It went as well as one could expect.  Yes, there is the odd story of true romance and long lasting relationships, but still very few.

What lent to my inspiration to write about it, was that she used the words “demeaning” and  lack of “responsibility“.

During her tour through this potentially endless vortex, she tossed at the idea of meeting up with a couple of different men.  Men who she told me were FABULOUS!  Who were a good prospect. All the while engaging the romance.  Later realizing that her connection to herself had been chisseled away.

I love that she came to the realization that her power had been taken from her.  Her divine feminine power as she explained.

She suffered when one particular Mr. Right played the “Let’s get to know each other first” game for what seemed like forever.  Every day falling deeper and deeper into a sleeping state of self-defeat.  Thankfully, she had come to realize the reality of what was really happening, before it became dangerously obvious of the difficulty she would face returning to her healthy state of self-love.

This is something I have heard many, many times.  Yes, I too have fallen victim to it as well.

My heart felt so wide open, and filled with gratitude when she expressed her summation of the experience.

“It felt demeaning.  Not so much in what he was saying or doing, but in how I was treating myself.  I forgot for a moment who I was.  I truly felt defeated at the gesture of my own hands giving my power away.  I realized that the online dating world not only allowed, but actually encouraged a lack of accountability.  our divine feminine is the treasure that men have been seeking for centuries, and should only be opened by one willing to be trusted, and is accountable. The feminine heart is the most precious thing on earth”  

One can fulfill their most sinister wishes of looking outside of themselves for definition.  A platform so virtual can easily strip away layers of self-esteem, respect and self-love.  It being a place that one can fall into the hands of someone who sees it as a free pass on taking on the responsibilities they would otherwise have while engaging real life connection with humanity.

Be gentle and loving with yourself first.  The rest will follow.  And wherever you go to venture, be skeptical and learn to listen.  Be strong to who really matters.  You.

Until next time…

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craig sinclair